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It's been ages since I've done anything on here and I feel bad about it. I just have felt unmotivated and depressed. I found out my Step-Dad has pancreatic cancer and the tumor is as large as the pancreas itself and the outlook is pretty grim. He has to go through chemotherapy 5 times a week for the next 6-8 months to see if they can shrink the tumor enough to where they can safely try to remove it, if at all. It's right under his aorta, as well which poses a lot of danger to him. I'm so scared and sad right now. I just lost my mom and my closest grandpa last year and have barely gotten over that and now I'm facing losing the one man who made the biggest positive impact in my life ever! He is my real dad to me. He is the one who should have been the birth father. I love him deeply and don't want to lose him. If I lose him I lose all ties to my mom because no one on our moms side of the family keeps in touch with us really and he is the last link to her as far as I am concerned. He was supposed to go to Hawaii with us in March to see his great grandchild which is due any day now and he won't be making that trip now and it saddens us that he won't get to make that trip. It meant so much to him.

I feel like all my creativity has been lost and I feel numb. At art therapy I have been working on a portrait of a womans face for 2 months now and I am nowhere close to being done. My art teacher is working patiently with me. I feel like she has been babysitting me through the whole process. I have never done a painting like this before and I lack total confidence. Right now I just don't feel like I have what it takes to do anything worthwhile to post on here. I'm sorry if I am letting anyone down who cares about what I do. I can't promise that I will post anything soon but maybe after Christmas my mood will improve. Who knows?

Love, Ginger

I have not been around much on DA lately and I apologize. Life has just been keeping me in a whirlwind! I haven't had much time to think about anything. I have this great art room upstairs and I haven't even really had time to utilize it yet. So many appointments and errands and so forth. I did do a painting today. It's sort of lame but I had a relaxing and enjoyable time doing it and I suppose that is the point, right?! It's the Wizard painting. Now I'm off to take Taylor shopping for this important dance she is in a court for. It's for a Spanish birthday and I don't have any idea how to spell the celebration but anyhow she and her boyfriend are in the court and they need to get his clothes today and she wants to be there to make sure he gets the right stuff to match her dress. Then we are going to see the movie "Cloudy with a chance of Meatballs," which is perfect for todays rainy weather! It's freaking cold out for Texas, too! In the 50's. I know some of y'all laugh at that but it was 103 just the other day. That is a dramatic drop! My blood has thinned out and I have become a wimp!
I will try to get cracking a produce some more art and stuff. I miss everybody on here and since I do have a subby I need to take advantage of it.
TTFN!

Taylor was driving and she only has her permit and the roads were wet and she hydroplaned into a stopped pick up truck and totaled the car. She and Bob are okay.....shaken up and sore is all. The person in the pick up got hurt quite a bit as the truck was literally picked up and lifted back down by our car when they hit. All in all things will be okay. Looks like we are in the market for a new car.

Setting up my art studio upstairs! Just need to get the waterbed broken down and I can start hanging up pictures. Have my table set up and shelving unit for all my art supplies I'm so excited!

To carry a grudge is like being stung to death by one bee.


I heard this from someone today and it is so so so so true! If I didn't forgive my abusers man would I being stinging like crazy right now! I got that off of me and put it where it belongs.....back on them! I feel lighter. Not that I condone what they did but not holding a grudge or heavy burdens feels great!